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  <title>Tales from another broken heart</title>
  <link>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/</link>
  <description>Tales from another broken heart - LiveJournal.com</description>
  <lastBuildDate>Fri, 12 Sep 2008 21:24:32 GMT</lastBuildDate>
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  <lj:journal>captured_dreams</lj:journal>
  <lj:journalid>12080189</lj:journalid>
  <lj:journaltype>personal</lj:journaltype>
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  <image>
    <url>http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/57258900/12080189</url>
    <title>Tales from another broken heart</title>
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<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/17282.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 12 Sep 2008 21:24:32 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Friday 12th September, 22.21pm</title>
  <link>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/17282.html</link>
  <description>Diary of a Teenage Thyrsus CEMD-120908&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;OMG! I can&apos;t believe in less than two hours I&apos;m 18!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;School was mental this week too. Wish me luck for surviving the next ten months.</description>
  <comments>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/17282.html</comments>
  <category>august</category>
  <lj:mood>anxious</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>2</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/15267.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Wed, 05 Mar 2008 17:55:03 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>A rare thing, but I thought I&apos;d share some ZG Camarilla work</title>
  <link>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/15267.html</link>
  <description>&lt;a name=&quot;cutid1&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;ljcut&quot; text=&quot;On Oxfords Streets&quot;&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid2&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;ljcut&quot; text=&quot;On Oxfords streets…&quot;&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;It was a clear night, a cloudless sky coupled with the steady breeze conspired to ensure the air held a bitter touch to any who would venture outdoors. Most who had business on the streets moved at a swift pace to keep exposure down to a minimum. They barely even looked up or registered their surroundings except to avoid incident with another traveller. In short, it was the type of night where a stranger could vanish straight off a busy street and although they could be a mere few paces away no-one would be any wiser. There was such subconscious understanding of that fact, not every chill which ran down the spine could be attributed to the weather.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;One of the figures who made their way through the night would perhaps have drawn more attention on a warmer night, and most certainly during daylight hours. She was a wonan in her mid twenties with pale skinned enough to stand out even during the depth of an English winter, accentuated by black hair that could never be her natural colour and clothes of near the same shade. The exception to that was her jeans which had faded to a soft grey. &lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;The heavy leather biker jacket ruled out the probability she was a Goth and the look was more reminiscent of the eighties than twenty-first century &lt;st1:city w:st=&quot;on&quot;&gt;&lt;st1:place w:st=&quot;on&quot;&gt;Oxford&lt;/st1:place&gt;&lt;/st1:city&gt;. Not only did she look different but her gait was at odds with most of the other pedestrians. Where they had shoulders hunched and wore a look as through on the brink of abandoning hope, she looked ahead with a steady and unyielding purpose. In a land of sheep she walked as the wolf.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;The analogy was a poignant one.&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;She suited the description of wolf well although it could be argued there were many of her associates who embodied the traits of that particular animal better. Still, it was with a predators stare that she stalked through the night. Her prey was in the area somewhere. Certainly there could be no guarantee of that but this was his turf and he had been in the vicinity at around the same time every night for weeks. Predictability got you killed in this game sooner or later… and her purpose tonight was to make sure it was sooner.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;Even with sharp hearing trained upon the surroundings she almost missed the scream. It was there for just a split second before being cut off, but that was enough for a rough &lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;calculation of direction. Biting off a snarl she grinned. Chances were they prey had just made his most fatal error… well, most fatal since making himself an enemy of the Prince and a threat to the city in the first place. She didn’t approve of threats to her city and enemies of the Prince had already signed away their right to exist by being in that category in the first place as far as she was concerned.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;It took her only a few minutes to locate the correct alley and stride into the depths as though she owned the place. The woman (5’7, late twenties, mildly overweight, just about pretty enough to be remarkable, high heels and short dress, easy meat) pinned against the wall was no surprise. Neither was the fact it was a man holding her there with one oversized hand. From the back she could almost have made the mistake that it was her target but then he turned and laid his deep brown eyes on her.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;“Beth?” &lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;Surprise and recognition filled his voice and in the deep, dark pit that remained of her heart she felt her emotions twinned. Clouded images long buried from her past lifted themselves to meet her conscious mind. Despite herself she remembered…&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;---&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;It didn’t matter now that he wasn’t the one she had been trying to find. Her old name upon his lips condemned him as gravely as that traitors deeds. His death would have to wait for another night. This one was meant to be dead. They all were. She was! No-one could be allowed to speak of what had happened. He would, she knew, if left unchecked he would spread the knowledge of her existence to every dark corner. Not only that but his very presence meant a threat to the city, to the Camarilla, to her Prince. Threats were there to be destroyed.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;“How’d you do it Beth? How’d you survive?” Suddenly it was as though realisation struck and her tone turned bitter and angry. “You sell us out kid? You kill him? Who’s the one you’re pet to now huh? You ain’t capable of making it on your own, who’s holding the leash Bethie?”&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;She drew the blade from its sheath and struck with lightning pace. This one would not only be a duty to rid the city of its presence, this would be her pleasure.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;---&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;The dust hadn’t even settled when she turned to the woman. In her terror the kine hadn’t even moved, just crouched transfixed at the ground where a moment ago a man had stood. Not really a man but this pitiful thing could not comprehend that. Only when the gloved fist closed around her neck did the woman divert her gaze.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;“I’m not here to save you, you’ve already seen to much for that. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” That cold voice didn’t sound sorry. Nor was the act one which reflected such emotion when she sank her fangs into the woman’s neck and savoured the sweet taste of blood running down her throat. It was hard to break away, and she did not feel full enough to want to, but knew any less would seem suspicious. Leaving the woman in the thralls of the kiss for only a moment she snatched up a shard of broken glass from the pavement. There was barely even a sound when she plunged the makeshift weapon deep into the same section her bite had been just moments ago. It was such a shame to see the blood surge down onto the ground… but regretfully needful.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: Georgia;&quot;&gt;She snatched the woman’s handbag up before dropping the near corpse roughly. For a split second her eyes fell to the spot where her brother had fell, but no trace remained of the dusted bone he had become. With the slightest of nods she turned and allowed the night to swallow her once more.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://pics.livejournal.com/captured_dreams/pic/00007ppz/&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/15267.html</comments>
  <category>elspeth</category>
  <category>zg</category>
  <lj:music>Open to suggestions people :)</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Open to suggestions people :)</media:title>
  <lj:mood>dedicated</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>2</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/15046.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 29 Feb 2008 22:55:55 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>[August] Poster</title>
  <link>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/15046.html</link>
  <description>&lt;a href=&quot;http://pics.livejournal.com/captured_dreams/pic/00007ppz/&quot;&gt;&lt;img width=&quot;192&quot; height=&quot;240&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; src=&quot;http://pics.livejournal.com/captured_dreams/pic/00007ppz/s320x240&quot; alt=&quot;&quot; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/15046.html</comments>
  <category>occ</category>
  <category>august</category>
  <lj:music>NCIS</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">NCIS</media:title>
  <lj:mood>giggly</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>4</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/14470.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Mon, 04 Feb 2008 18:01:19 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Thursday 31st January 2008</title>
  <link>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/14470.html</link>
  <description>Diary of a Teenage Thyrsus CEMD-310108&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid1&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;ljcut&quot; text=&quot;&apos;Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil... &apos;&quot;&gt;&lt;i&gt;&apos;Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil...&lt;/i&gt;&amp;nbsp;&apos;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;893344716-04022008&quot;&gt;This may come out in a pretty weird order. The thing is I want to tell you about last night but it&apos;s not going to make any sense without Sunday or Monday, and I&apos;ve been trying to tell you what happened with them. Every time I do try I just end up staring at a blank page because I can&apos;t bring myself to do it. I&apos;ve got to though. What happened is important.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;893344716-04022008&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;893344716-04022008&quot;&gt;I tried to find Mother but my casting&apos;s failed every time. If Storm hadn&apos;t been with me I&apos;d have probably lost it, and I nearly did, but I got called away and into an Arrow meeting so&amp;nbsp;he said he&apos;d keep trying while I was gone (note to self: he still has the photo). &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;893344716-04022008&quot;&gt;So I got in just after the meeting started and gave Rax a big hug. Turns out they&apos;d managed to triangulate positioning and had a fairly sure idea of where the next abyssal ritual was going to take place. Rax was just about to break stride in explaining some stuff about the Hollow Men (note to self: should really get my own briefing off him at some point and find out what I missed) but, well Weatherman interrupted to call me and Uncle Peace away. He&apos;d managed where I couldn&apos;t. She&apos;s in the crypt. With the others. The Christmas victims.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;893344716-04022008&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;893344716-04022008&quot;&gt;It gets a little fuzzy there. I was with Storm and then there was this roar coming from the beach. Ran round the side and into the Arrow in full activity, splitting off into teams and operational assignments. I think I saw Papa vanishing through one portal but nearly everyone was gone when Kael and Rax grabbed me for driving duty. It wasn&apos;t till I was there that I realised that I was slam in the middle of the operation Uncle Peace told me to stay away from that night but when I heard the shotgun go off there was no way I could just kneel there and do nothing. We went in. Disrupted whatever it was they were doing and killed most of them. I did that. Just shot one of them straight through the head with all the anger, the rage and pain in me.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;893344716-04022008&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;893344716-04022008&quot;&gt;I&apos;ll admit it&apos;s been killing me Dad. I walked Eden. I got put back on this Earth. That was so I could be a _better_ person, to protect the Lord&apos;s kingdom from all the evil the world, to serve Mankind for the greater good. But the greatest of evils are those the Devil infects us with, the ones buried in our heart and soul. If we listen to that darkness then we will fall, just as so many before and I _did_, the Lord help me in that moment I did fall hard. Oh to the outside observer it wouldn&apos;t look like it. I just did my duty and destroyed a manifestation of evil that walked the world, that had corrupted and destroyed... and would keep doing so if not removed. But like any paladin it&apos;s not just what you do, it&apos;s _why_. It&apos;s the purity of purpose. My heart wasn&apos;t pure. I know that. God knows that.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;893344716-04022008&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;893344716-04022008&quot;&gt;And I tried to explain that. To both of them.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;893344716-04022008&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;893344716-04022008&quot;&gt;I don&apos;t blame Weatherman from walking away. Hell, if I could have at that moment I&apos;d have walked away from me too.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;893344716-04022008&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;893344716-04022008&quot;&gt;Rax stayed. Just hugged me and talked me through it. Seek my answers, my forgiveness, from the only person who can give it. So, just like if I was a real worthy paladin looking for inspiration I took vigil... oh, and yes I need to get in touch with Scarecrow like he suggested too. See if she&apos;s willing to accept me and transfer shrinks.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;893344716-04022008&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;893344716-04022008&quot;&gt;I never thought He would answer me you know. That sounds terrible and I should never have had such doubt in Him, but I never thought he&apos;d answer such an unworthy creature as me. It just stands as testament to how much of a gracious and loving God he is. I found myself walking in Eden again, and after I&apos;d stumbled around for what felt like days I saw her just sitting under a tree. Can you believe it? Mother was just resting as casual as you please looking as beautiful as ever. We talked. We talked about everything and nothing, and then we talked about why I had come.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;893344716-04022008&quot;&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;893344716-04022008&quot;&gt;I&apos;m not meant to be okay about what happened for I have sinned. You don&apos;t blame the horse if it bucks you off, but you don&apos;t just lie there or run away either. It&apos;s time to get back on the horse and prove that I can serve my penance. I&apos;ll never be worthy of the gift bestowed upon me, but you don&apos;t need to be to serve. Learn my lessons, earn my forgiveness, work harder than ever to be better. This doesn&apos;t happen again.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/14470.html</comments>
  <category>diary</category>
  <category>august</category>
  <lj:music>Everything is good for you - Crowded House</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Everything is good for you - Crowded House</media:title>
  <lj:mood>determined</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>1</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/14290.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:10:20 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>10.00am Monday January 28th - Penmon, Anglesey, Wales</title>
  <link>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/14290.html</link>
  <description>&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;quot;Lucida Bright&amp;quot;;&quot;&gt;Note from the Author: This piece is written from August&amp;rsquo;s perspective. It&amp;rsquo;s her headspace and thus any opinions expressed are hers, and may not in fact be grounded in anything other than her own delusions.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;quot;Lucida Bright&amp;quot;;&quot;&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;quot;Lucida Bright&amp;quot;;&quot;&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid1&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;At some point the sun had risen but she paid it no more mind than anything else. The blank page of her diary stared up from her desk in exactly the same way it had through the night, still words refused to come. She hadn&amp;rsquo;t even gotten changed to try and sleep, nor even to clean up the blood staining her left sleeve even though she had healed the wound. She stirred enough from her thoughts to respond to the knock on the door with a quiet &amp;ldquo;It&amp;rsquo;s open.&amp;rdquo; But the girl didn&amp;rsquo;t turn to greet the shuffle of footsteps approaching nor react to the arm wrapped around her shoulder.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;&amp;ldquo;Hello, my love.&amp;rdquo; There was a strain in his voice and she paled even further to hear it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;&amp;ldquo;What&amp;rsquo;s wrong?&amp;rdquo; She asked softly, her voice steadier than she expected. Still, he sighed before gently wetting a finger and wiping away the tear streaks from her face.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;&amp;ldquo;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;Nothing. Just an unexpected backlash. It will heal.&amp;quot; That wasn&amp;rsquo;t enough for her and she pressed him for what had happened. &amp;ldquo;The light spell to see your mothers remains, &amp;hellip;&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;She didn&amp;rsquo;t really hear the rest of his reply as a wave of guilt hit her afresh, that she was responsible for yet more pain but this in a man she loved. Her hand gently brushed his cheek and she didn&amp;rsquo;t know she had vocalized the thought until his soft yet firm tone responded.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;&amp;ldquo;Shouldn&amp;rsquo;t have asked you to&amp;hellip;&amp;rdquo; She insisted.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;&amp;ldquo;You didn&amp;rsquo;t, I offered.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;&amp;ldquo;And I&amp;rsquo;m grateful.&amp;rdquo; That didn&amp;rsquo;t do justice to how she felt but no replacement came to mind so she continued, &amp;ldquo;Didn&amp;rsquo;t mean for you to get hurt though.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;His gentle assurances raised a smile on her lips, just as her response raised one on his. She wrapped her arms around his neck as admitted, &amp;ldquo;It&amp;rsquo;s&amp;hellip; I don&amp;rsquo;t have words.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;&amp;ldquo;Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean, tears from the depth of some divine despair. Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes, in looking on the happy Autumn-fields, and thinking of the days that are no more.&amp;rdquo; The quote raised a shiver in her and seemed to open forth gates in her soul, if she had had the capacity to shed more tears they would have come to hear such eloquent description of her own despair. All she was capable of doing was to tremble in his arms and he tightened his grip. &amp;ldquo;They read that at my Fathers funeral, they tell me.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;&amp;ldquo;It&amp;rsquo;s beautiful. I know just what it means.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;&amp;ldquo;I spoke to Bear last night.&amp;rdquo; The sharp shift in conversation was smooth and never registered to her curiosity. &amp;ldquo;I wanted to make sure he knew, and didn&amp;rsquo;t leave&amp;hellip; without at least saying goodbye.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;&amp;ldquo;I told him&amp;hellip;. He&amp;rsquo;d have told you that though I imagine.&amp;rdquo; The pause in realisation was a testament to her clouded mind.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;&amp;ldquo;Yes. Then we got into the more awkward topic.&amp;rdquo; It didn&amp;rsquo;t trigger to her what exactly he meant by that but it was only natural to ask how it went. &amp;ldquo;If he stops treating me like I&apos;m sixteen again, we might get on. It is fortunate Miriam was there, I suspect.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;The love she harboured for the old Thyrsus and father figure in her life was enough for a smile to blossom. &amp;ldquo;When you&amp;rsquo;re as old as Dad attitude gets interesting.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;He &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;paused for a long moment, then very carefully stated. &amp;quot;I am sure it does, his heart is in the right place.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;There had never been any doubt in her mind, of all the authority figures in her life he was quite probably the one who looked out for her most and yet never treated her as a child or made her feel less for it. That was simply who and what Bear was. &amp;ldquo;Could have told you that love. He&amp;rsquo;s a good man.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;The best of them, better than she could have ever dreamed of to come into her life. She was still dwelling on that as Weatherman said something about getting cleaned up and eating. She admitted to not feeling up to food to which he sighed slightly. &amp;ldquo;No. But you should eat something.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;An image of cold dead eyes in a hollow face crept back into her mind. &amp;ldquo;Did&amp;hellip; did Dad say anything? About the mission?&amp;rdquo; &lt;i style=&quot;&quot;&gt;About what I did&amp;hellip;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;No. But &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;August,&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt; I don&apos;t care if there were cannibals out there. I know enough about nutrition and grief to know you have to eat.&amp;rdquo; He didn&amp;rsquo;t understand.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;Her reply was soft but carried with it the bitterness of her self-hatred, the disappointment and revulsion that felt as though it seeped from every pore. It was a wonder he could stand to touch her. &amp;ldquo;Murder doesn&amp;rsquo;t sit in the stomach all that well.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;He shifted his posture ever so slightly, drawing back a little. &amp;quot;Of course not, I apologise. That was... insensitive of me.&amp;quot;&amp;nbsp;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;There was still that lack of understanding and so she resorted to the blunt, her shoulders slumping as the admission escaped. &amp;ldquo;Me&amp;hellip; I was talking about me.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;He tried to say he wasn&amp;rsquo;t the best person to be talking to but she didn&amp;rsquo;t hear him, now she had taken the first step all she could do was say the rest and relive that moment in her head as she had been doing all night. &amp;ldquo;I should never have left. He said but I was driving, then there, before I even registered where it was we were going. And I&amp;rsquo;m sorry&amp;hellip; I&amp;hellip; you don&amp;rsquo;t deserve this.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;My dear girl, it is hardly a matter of what I deserve. It is a matter of what you need.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;Her first thought were that he deserved far more than her little wretch of a self, that the last thing he needed was for her to be there and making life even more difficult for him but she simply replied, &amp;ldquo;Need?... the Lord knows what I need.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;Perhaps she was seeking salvation, or reassurance, or a million other things she didn&amp;rsquo;t deserve.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;Food, water and a good nights sleep.&amp;rdquo; Wasn&amp;rsquo;t really the response she was looking for.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;Maybe.&amp;rdquo; Certainly wasn&amp;rsquo;t the answer he was looking for. He bit his lip then pulled away from her gently but with a firmness that was unnecessary as she resisted with less strength than a rag doll.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;August, I&amp;hellip; know this is hard. But you can&amp;rsquo;t sit here in your own nightmares.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;I&apos;m meant to protect people Storm.&amp;rdquo; She desperately tried to explain. &amp;ldquo;I&apos;m meant to live up to this higher calling and be a better person. That was a monster that needed to be destroyed but... I shot out of anger and hatred. All I could think of was revenge. Some noble paladin I am.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;He laughed lightly, something shifting in his voice as he reached out to tilt &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;her&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt; head up. &amp;quot;You&apos;re my paladin, Cally. And a human one at that.&amp;quot;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;We&amp;rsquo;re more than human.&amp;rdquo; She thought back to the day and events which had awoken her. &amp;ldquo;I didn&amp;rsquo;t get brought back to just be human.&amp;rdquo;&amp;nbsp;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;I&apos;m sorry &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;August&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;, but... in the end, the core of what we are, that supernal spark born to inherit the world... that&apos;s what it means to be human. That&apos;s why it&apos;s here, to learn error. To experience. Yes, we&apos;re more than human. We&apos;re divine, every one of us. But the human is the divine.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;I&amp;hellip; I guess...&amp;rdquo; that was not what she felt she was questioning, but the feelings she had experienced and the understanding she instinctively gained from walking Eden couldn&amp;rsquo;t be explained.&amp;nbsp;&lt;span style=&quot;&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&lt;br /&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;/span&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;And maybe you were in error. That is something to judge with a clear head and a clear heart. But even if you were, no one expects you to be perfect. To be righteous, bold, brilliant and without flaw. No one except you, my love.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;Hardly without flaw.&amp;rdquo; She never expected herself to be flawless, but her efforts never accomplished even half of what she should be capable of. Nothing was ever enough and if she didn&amp;rsquo;t push herself then the evil in the world would consume her&amp;hellip; and more besides. How many more would suffer because of her failings?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;So why punish yourself now?&amp;rdquo; This wasn&amp;rsquo;t a failure she could explain away or reconcile with. It wasn&amp;rsquo;t a case of the other side being stronger, or faster, or smarter (which they always were anyway). This was&amp;hellip; falling to the dark side. &amp;ldquo;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;There&apos;s flaws and there&apos;s... I screwed up. God how I screwed up and that doesn&apos;t even begin to cover it.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;How?&amp;rdquo; It seemed so simple to her. Couldn&amp;rsquo;t he understand why this bothered her so much? Why she had failed everything she was and tried to be by slipping and committing the gravest sin.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;I let myself kill a man, just shoot him in the head and for nothing more than revenge. That&apos;s murder. It&apos;s pretty much as big a sin as you can get.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;Really? So of all the myriad of reasons you went out on that mission last night, of all the causes you fight for, of all the training that makes pulling the trigger instinctive, that makes following orders automatic. Of the fear, of the anger, of the burning desire for revenge, of the shame and hatred for not protecting your mother. You&apos;re sure you shot the man out of anger? That alone, and so it&apos;s murder. That God itself would not understand?&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;The Lord&amp;rsquo;s forgiving of our sins&amp;hellip; guess that&amp;rsquo;s why we have guilt.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;You did not answer my question.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;It took her a moment to recognise the other question he had asked. &amp;ldquo;More negative emotions than just anger.&amp;rdquo; Revenge was far more than that, a boiling pot of negative energies that was a dangerous and destructive force in the world. It was the will of the Lord that we should forgive, not strike back. Such was the way of wars and the breeding of hostility.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;He sighed and muttered something darkly under his breath to which she retorted, &amp;ldquo;&amp;hellip;would you rather I was okay with this?&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;No, but I would rather you allowed yourself some sense of perspective. Wallowing in firm self pity and guilt that what you did was wrong is not going to help, to be quite frank, whatever your bloody religion might tell you.&amp;rdquo;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;The barb barely stung amid the truths that rang home in her mind, the meanings between the lines. She was a weak child incapable of standing up and being a devoted soldier. He could see that, see her uselessness, and was as disgusted as she was with herself. Turning away from him she moved over to the window, leaning on its frame and battling her own subconscious to avoid breaking down completely.&amp;nbsp;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 8pt; font-family: &amp;#39;Lucida Bright&amp;#39;;&quot;&gt;&amp;ldquo;Well maybe I can&amp;rsquo;t do that.&amp;rdquo; The knowledge that she couldn&amp;rsquo;t do any of it tore at her. She barely heard his response, or the door clicking shut behind him.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 35.45pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/14290.html</comments>
  <category>august</category>
  <lj:music>Brand New Hero - Reel Big Fish</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Brand New Hero - Reel Big Fish</media:title>
  <lj:mood>crushed</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/14023.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Mon, 21 Jan 2008 18:07:01 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>[August] 21st January 2008</title>
  <link>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/14023.html</link>
  <description>Diary of a Teenage Thyrsus CEMD-210108&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This one&apos;s going to be pretty short. I know I should really sit down and update you on everything that&apos;s happened over the last month, and a lot of it&apos;s important, but right now I just can&apos;t.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;When I got home from school&amp;nbsp;I went to see Mother in her study. The place doesn&apos;t looked like it was touched since I was in there Christmas Eve, yes including&amp;nbsp;her present I left on the desk.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I&apos;m worried Dad. Real worried.&amp;nbsp;</description>
  <comments>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/14023.html</comments>
  <category>diary</category>
  <category>august</category>
  <lj:mood>scared</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/11718.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 09 Nov 2007 17:36:36 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>[August] 7th November 2007</title>
  <link>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/11718.html</link>
  <description>&lt;font color=&quot;#ff99cc&quot;&gt;[Post-it added to diary]&lt;br /&gt;wtf!&lt;br /&gt;I&apos;ll need to fill you in later because I&apos;m going out for not-drinks, possibly leading to dinner (considering what time it is). Very much not-date.&lt;br /&gt;And a note for the future. I really need to store more pretty wardrobe choices at the chantry.&lt;/font&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ok, so I&apos;ve tried to write this a few times now.&lt;br /&gt;Dinner was lovely, the company fantastic and the walk down the beach perfect.&lt;br /&gt;We talked, about anything and everything.&lt;br /&gt;Everything just left so... &lt;i&gt;right&lt;/i&gt;! Like I could just explain everything, all the highs and lows and fears and hopes, and he&apos;d understand. Just being able to have a co-operative, adult conversation and not have to worry every few seconds.&lt;br /&gt;I&apos;m still not ready for a relationship though. I told him that too and he understood just like everything else. Willing to just be there and give me the time I need.&lt;br /&gt;I do like him though. I like him a lot.&lt;br /&gt;And the kiss was amazing.</description>
  <comments>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/11718.html</comments>
  <category>diary</category>
  <category>august</category>
  <lj:mood>loved</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>2</lj:reply-count>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/10650.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Wed, 19 Sep 2007 13:56:15 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>[August] Saturday 15th September - London, UK</title>
  <link>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/10650.html</link>
  <description>&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;895521213-19092007&quot;&gt;A small distant part of her mind commented that she wasn&apos;t really dressed for a thunderstorm, even if Weatherman&apos;s handiwork was incredibly cool. It left the ground underfoot slippery with heavy clay mud but that caused her no difficulty, her balance was remarkable even for a girl grown up in rural Wales... and even more wild locations around the world. With a slow breath she settled her mind and rested the rifle butt in her shoulder.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;895521213-19092007&quot;&gt;&apos;Target... Focus... Just like in training a million times before... Simple target practice...&apos;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;895521213-19092007&quot;&gt;&apos;Except this isn&apos;t practice. That&apos;s a man. Living breathing human.&apos;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;895521213-19092007&quot;&gt;The thought shattered her void as effectively as a hammer set to glass, throwing the shot wild. Biting back a curse that would cause uproar with the Sisters at school she reloaded with swift smooth motions. Slamming the rifle back into position she took aim again.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;895521213-19092007&quot;&gt;The man&apos;s head exploded in a burst of red mist.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class=&quot;895521213-19092007&quot;&gt;She had no need to hear the shot or turn her head to know that had been her Uncle&apos;s doing, one shot one kill, a living symbol of military leadership. Frustrated with her own inadequacies she focused once more on the sight, on the spirit rising up from the corpse before her eyes, the target she &lt;i&gt;could&lt;/i&gt; do something about.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/10650.html</comments>
  <category>southern regional</category>
  <category>august</category>
  <lj:mood>frustrated</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/9865.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Mon, 20 Aug 2007 12:39:59 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>[August] Sunday August 20th, Anglesey Chantry, Penmon, UK</title>
  <link>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/9865.html</link>
  <description>&lt;p align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;There was a definite chill in the air, it seeped into the hard wooden pews, into the bones of those who gathered, leaked into their very souls. Perhaps not all of them felt it as they whispered amongst themselves so softly there was barely a mild buzz escaping. Outside it was a glorious summer day, as best as could be had for the area even in August, but the old walls seemed to stand as a barrier to that normal and natural friendliness. Nearly every space in the church was filled, coming from far and wide to pay their final respects to a man they had cherished&amp;hellip; or so they said.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;&amp;lsquo;Where have you been if you cared so much?&amp;rsquo; &lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;the thought came unbidden and bitter.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;&amp;lsquo;Did you ever even try to find him, to speak to him, after he left the public eye? Did you wonder why he just vanished into retirement like that? Do you know his paranoia?&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;&amp;hellip;did any of you really know him at all?&amp;rsquo;&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;right&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-indent: 36pt; text-align: right;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;&amp;lsquo;Did you?&amp;rsquo;&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;She nearly jumped as the question rebounded in her head. It was true she had barely begun to discover the many secrets the man had embroiled in his life. All her life he had been there, guiding and helping her, and he had known her better than any. Better than either of her parents, and better than herself. He could look at you, and really be looking through you, into you, finding out what made you tick and why. That had always been his way and never had she questioned that.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;Did you always know I&amp;rsquo;d see some day? Your little &lt;st1:city w:st=&quot;on&quot;&gt;&lt;st1:place w:st=&quot;on&quot;&gt;Alice&lt;/st1:place&gt;&lt;/st1:city&gt; to fall through the looking glass? Except this is the way the world really is not the reflection, the truth is dark and bitter, it&amp;rsquo;s loneliness and fear.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;right&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: right;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;Are you capable of standing against the darkness without him? &lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;right&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: right;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;How will you ever survive girl? Your just a child.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;Almost sixteen.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;She knew it was pride and stubbornness that put fire in those words, but for once she didn&amp;rsquo;t care. Whether she made it or not, she wouldn&amp;rsquo;t run and hide like the little girl she very nearly was&amp;hellip; had been only a few short months ago&amp;hellip; she knew the truth now.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;I will fight. For myself, for my family, and for him.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;right&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: right;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;What family? &lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;right&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: right;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;Granda&amp;hellip;? dead.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;right&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: right;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;Grandma&amp;hellip;? dead.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;right&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: right;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;Aunt&amp;hellip;? dead.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;right&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: right;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;Uncle&amp;hellip;? Gone years.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;right&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: right;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;Father&amp;hellip;? Gone years.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;right&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: right;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;Mother&amp;hellip;? &lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;right&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: right;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;Sat right beside you yet when did she last speak?&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;right&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: right;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;Does she even care any more?&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;right&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: right;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;Does she even recognise you since the &amp;lsquo;accident&amp;rsquo;?&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;right&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: right;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;Who have you left to care for? And why should you?&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;right&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: right;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;They all just leave in the end.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;Shut up.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;It&amp;rsquo;s still important.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;We can&amp;rsquo;t all save the world. But those that can must.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;I stand as a warrior before the Lord my God and give myself up to his service. To defend all of His creations who still walk in the light. To uphold His laws and His principles as he has set down. And should I fall in His service, then He shall lift me up. &lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;right&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: right;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;&amp;hellip;I will fear no evil, for thou art with me.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;Exactly&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;As if on cue heavily voices rang out filling the chamber with sweet music. The choir was sad, echoing thoughts and feelings of the passing&amp;hellip; but rose to sing of their rejoicing. Both at the gratitude at the life he had given, and the knowledge he was safe in the Lord&amp;rsquo;s keeping.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;At least, that&amp;rsquo;s what she heard.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;Those sentiments carried through the service, and a beautiful thing it was, giving her strength to deliver the reading. She poured her heart into those words knowing in the House of God they could find purchase.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;And later, not so very much later, it was over. She stood over the grave of her Grandfather and placed her white rose on the coffin.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;They said it was a heart attack Granda, can you believe that?&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;I know better. I will find out, one day, somehow.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;Your fears were real and they came for you.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;If I ever seemed to doubt that I&amp;rsquo;m sorry. &lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;I&amp;rsquo;m so sorry Granda, can you forgive me?&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;I know I&amp;rsquo;m young.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;I know I&amp;rsquo;m not a Warlock like you.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;But I&amp;rsquo;ll fight your fight&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;Our fight&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;The worlds fight&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;I promise&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;She blinked.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;She knew what she had done. Remembered what and why.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;She remembered walking up to the great monument of the church.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;She remembered the journey back, with her Mother never uttering a word.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;Yet between was nothing.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align=&quot;center&quot; style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt;&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;A blank page in her mind.&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style=&quot;margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;&quot; class=&quot;MsoNormal&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-size: 9pt; color: rgb(153, 204, 0);&quot;&gt;&lt;font face=&quot;Times New Roman&quot;&gt;Forgive me&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/9865.html</comments>
  <category>august</category>
  <lj:music>Everythings Not Lost - Coldplay</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Everythings Not Lost - Coldplay</media:title>
  <lj:mood>crushed</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>3</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/9354.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 19 Jul 2007 19:37:39 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>ICC 2007</title>
  <link>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/9354.html</link>
  <description>Well I&apos;ve booked my flights so I guess it&apos;s off to Nashville for me!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;For my and others records (all times local);&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;Wednesday 17th October&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Depart Heathrow 14.35 &lt;br /&gt;&lt;div align=&quot;left&quot;&gt;Arrive Newark 17.50 &lt;br /&gt;&lt;div align=&quot;right&quot;&gt;295.10&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Depart Newark 20.30&lt;br /&gt;Arrive Nashville 22.19&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div align=&quot;right&quot;&gt;118.10&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;Sunday 21st October&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Depart Nashville 12.30&lt;br /&gt;Arrive Newark 16.06&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Depart Newark 21.15&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;Monday 22nd October&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Arrive Heathrow 09.15</description>
  <comments>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/9354.html</comments>
  <category>occ</category>
  <category>icc</category>
  <lj:music>Stargate SG1</lj:music>
  <media:title type="plain">Stargate SG1</media:title>
  <lj:mood>excited</lj:mood>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>4</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/1582.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sun, 21 Jan 2007 14:43:43 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Information Page: August</title>
  <link>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/1582.html</link>
  <description>General info&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;Description&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;August is a small (5&apos;3), skinny girl who doesn&apos;t look like she&apos;s past her mid teens yet. Her skin is tanned like she&apos;s seen a lot of the outdoors and her auburn hair frames it well, pretty but still she&apos;s quite an unassuming looking girl. The observant and trained can tell there&apos;s a lot more power in her frame than you&apos;d think for someone her size and plenty of development still to do.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Tonight she&apos;s dressed pretty much like &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tektek.org/avatar/7624519&quot;&gt;this&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;She does sound slightly welsh but not as strong as you&apos;s expect from someone living there.</description>
  <comments>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/1582.html</comments>
  <category>august</category>
  <category>info</category>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/1314.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sun, 21 Jan 2007 14:42:19 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Information Page: Vigdis</title>
  <link>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/1314.html</link>
  <description>Vee&apos;s info page&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Description: Vigdis is a young woman looking to be in her early twenties, certainly no more than mid. Standing at 5&apos;4 her frame is light but she moves gracefully and appears to be in good shape. Her hands, if you shake them, are slightly rougher than you&apos;d expect as though she does a lot of hard work with them. &lt;p&gt;Her voice with most people is slow and does stutter but the accent is definately english with undertones of London for those that would recognise it. Noticeably there is no such problem in her speech when talking to Mikal and it&apos;s barely noticeable with a few others. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;She usually dresses in darker shades than you&apos;d expect from an Acanthus but often there are flecks of paint or other substances on her clothing. Although rarely scruffy she&apos;s far from the most well maintained mage out there but her appearance never seems to be important to her. &lt;/p&gt;Right now she doesn&apos;t look all that well. Her features are a little gaunt and dark rings circle her eyes as though she hasn&apos;t been sleeping well in quite some time. There&apos;s a slightly manic edge to her voice and mannerisms even when she&apos;s talking as normally as she can.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Now the Free Council wiki is up, I have a &lt;a href=&quot;http://freecouncil.cam-wiki.org/index.php?title=Vigdis&quot;&gt;renewed wiki&lt;/a&gt; for her. Please add stuff... it&apos;s an amalgum of the old one and the one that was on the main Awakened wiki pages.</description>
  <comments>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/1314.html</comments>
  <category>info</category>
  <category>vigdis</category>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/1026.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sun, 21 Jan 2007 14:40:53 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Information Page: Harmony</title>
  <link>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/1026.html</link>
  <description>You want info on Dauntless Spirit, well watch this space...</description>
  <comments>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/1026.html</comments>
  <category>info</category>
  <category>harmony</category>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/915.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sun, 21 Jan 2007 14:39:50 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Information Page: Raven</title>
  <link>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/915.html</link>
  <description>This is where general info for Shelly will appear...</description>
  <comments>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/915.html</comments>
  <category>raven</category>
  <category>info</category>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/754.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sun, 21 Jan 2007 14:37:18 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Information Page: Tabitha</title>
  <link>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/754.html</link>
  <description>This is where general info for the good Bishop will appear...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Tabitha Aemilianu&lt;br /&gt;Bishop of London [LS 3]&lt;br /&gt;Councillor of London Without [London 3]&lt;br /&gt;Elder of House Aemilianu [Ventrue 2]&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Description&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Captured in her late teens, Tabitha Aemilianu is a stunningly beautiful woman (Striking Looks 4) with a commanding presence despite her short and petite frame. Soft spoken for the most part she is an excellent and obviously well practiced public speaker, with a well clipped English accent.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dressed in a sweeping black and red velvet dress showing off her figure without actually revealing any more than&amp;nbsp; a hint of cleavage. Long blonde hair curls around her shoulders pinned back and adorned with a red rose.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Also OOC Note: Blood Potency 4</description>
  <comments>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/754.html</comments>
  <category>tabitha</category>
  <category>info</category>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
  <lj:reply-count>0</lj:reply-count>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/393.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 19 Jan 2007 17:22:01 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>ARST Page</title>
  <link>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/393.html</link>
  <description>I don&apos;t have wiki&apos;s for my NPC&apos;s but wanted somewhere to put quotes and general info. Here&apos;s as good as any.</description>
  <comments>http://captured-dreams.livejournal.com/393.html</comments>
  <category>npcs</category>
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